We went beyong where we should have gone
by Tc33 - Amie
Summary: The Doctor finds himself trapped in a crashing ship. A mysterious woman suddenly appears to help him.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's note:** I'm sorry, I know some of you are waiting for the next chapters of _Lifeline_ but Goblindreamer sent me back this fic today and I could not wait to post it. Thanks to her for the beta.

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**Chapter 1_  
_**

_"____Five minutes before the crash__."_

While the interface declared its inevitable warning, the alarm began to scream and all the lights turned red. The ship was crashing and shaking violently, lights were flashing on and off on the computers and some people could not prevent from crying as they fell because of the turbulence.

The captain checked all the measures but the control panel was right; the ship was about to crash and he could not do anything to prevent it. There was a single thing to do if he wanted to stay alive.

_"Red code alert. I'm asking for emergency evacuation. I repeat, red code alert."_

Then he turned to the man who was desperately looking at him.

_"I'm sorry Doctor. You won't be recognized by our mothership. I really hope you'll find a way to get you out of here. And it was very nice to know you."_

_"But…"_

_"Captain, red code alert on."_ said a sizzling voice around them _"You can __now__ prepare to teleport."_

The captain shouted orders to his crew and then turned back to the Doctor.

_"I'm really sorry…"_

_"Captain! Don't! Please tell me where my -"_

Some flashes filled up the room as the Captain and all the people around disappeared, and the Doctor's last words weren't heard.

"_- TARDIS before you go."_

He turned around, and realized that they left him alone in a crashing ship without any idea of how he will get out of there.

_"____Four minute and thirty seconds__."_

He ran to the console and manipulated some buttons to check the measures himself- but the Captain was right. There was nothing to do and, worse, nothing _he_ could do. He gasped in anger and opened the scanner so he could at least try to find his TARDIS – his only chance.

_"Come on, where are you?" _he asked to his invisible old girl.

_"Doctor, she's at the back of the ship!"_

He turned back and stared at the woman who had just spoken to him. She was standing at the door, halfway between the room and the corridor, a hand reached out in his direction to show him the way. She was in her thirties and was wearing a black dress which suited her perfect curves, and a pair of high heels that really did not fit the situation. His look moved from her toes, waved along the length of her legs and was trapped by her cleavage, just a second more than decency should have advised, then follow the river of her wavy hazelnut hair to her graceful face. He stared at her with surprise - he did not know where she was coming from, but she was certainly not a member of the crew.

_"Who are you?"_ he asked, but his voice was practically drowned out by the alarm ringing around them.

_"____Four minutes."_

_"This is not a time for questions. Come on!"_

She reached for him and took his hand, and he had no choice but to follow her.

x.


	2. Chapter 2

_"____Three minutes and thirty seconds."_

They ran through corridors and went down and up on the different decks. She led the way and she only stopped once to keep her shoes off, so she would run easier and faster. She seemed to know where she was going, slowing down at each junction to find her way. She was tracing their path through the ship, never hesitating, never looking back, only holding his hand so she would be sure that he was still with her.

_"____Three minutes."_

He could not exactly tell what it was; the way she was moving, or perhaps the look she had given him in the control room; the way her hand was grabbing his, or the sound of her naked feet on the ground, but there was something familiar about the woman. He was really sure he had never seen her before –he would have remembered. But she acted like she knew him.

_"____Two minutes and thirty seconds."_

He would never admit it but he was glad she was there, so he had not lost any time searching where his ship was. He did not need to focus on the direction either, so he could stare at her and concentrate on his feet and his breath to run. They were moving quickly but it was a big ship, and the TARDIS was at the other side of it. The alarm was still ringing and the red lights were still flashing on and off and they had only their feet to move. They were running as fast as they could but he was not sure they could reach the TARDIS in time.

_"____Two minutes."_

She stopped when they turned to found themselves in a deadlock. Each side of the corridors, there were doors, many doors, perhaps twenty or thirty doors. She looked at them desperately, then turned back to him. She had seemed to know the ship perfectly, but now she was as lost as him.

_"The Tardis is somewhere behind one of those doors but... I don't know which one."_

_"____One minute thirty seconds__."_

He did not answer, and began trying to open the doors. Unfortunately, the first he tried was close, so was the one she tried, and the second and…

_"Doctor, your screwdriver!"_

He put it out of his pocket and opened the first door, trying to hide his confusion while she was going down the corridors to try the other doors. So, he was right. He did not know her but she knew him. There were plenty of reasons why she could, it was not the first time he had met someone in the wrong order but he had not only good memories about that. And it was not the time to think how the last meeting-all-back-to-front story had ended, ended, would end –he was not exactly sure when he exactly were and things were complicate enough without that new woman to complicate it even more.

_"____One minute fifteen seconds."_

He finally managed to open the first door and ran in it. He found a little cell full of... he immediately stopped and grinned. He was surrounded by shelves full of guns and weapons. Obviously, he would not find his ship here – and he would not stay in that room a minute more. He quickly stepped back and closed the door behind him. The woman was running back to him, shaking her head.

_"They're all closed."_

_"____One minute.__"_

She looked up to the lights flashing as he reached to next door and soniced it. He entered and walked out almost immediately.

_"Laundry."_

The alarm was counting every second down now, and they would never have the time to open each door before the crash.

_"____Forty-five seconds"._

_"Doctor, you're working too slowly!."_

_"I know! If you have a better idea, please don't keep to yourself."_

He faced her and she could see he was cross. No, in fact it was not anger, not only, he was cross and he was afraid, because he did not know what to do. Time was running out through his hands and there was nothing he could do to stop it. He was powerless, he was afraid, and he was cross because of those feelings he should not have. And she was not helping.

She did not move, and did not seem to be hurt or shocked by the words he had just told her. She just kept looking at him, and something changed in her look, as she seemed to... What, was she thinking of a solution?

_"____Forty____."_

_"I'm sorry."_

She paused, and looked around her while she was thinking for a last time at the possibilities they had. Then she sighed, and before he could react she reached him and kissed him.

x.


	3. Chapter 3

She was kissing him. He was trying to save their lives but the only thing she was thinking about was kissing him. Why all the women he met always have to kiss him in desperate moments? He did not hate kisses but it prevented him from thinking and... it was not his ___genre_ to kiss every stranger. Especially as he was a married man now and his wife was the kind of woman who carried a gun and knew how to use it. How to use it very well. He did not want to face her and tell her that he kissed someone else today –no, that was not the truth, she was kissing him. But he was not doing anything to stop her.

He suddenly grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back. He tried to look forbidding and angry, but she looked pleased and began to laugh.

_"You can't…"_ he began scolding her.

And suddenly he realized that something was wrong: there was no noise anymore around them, nor a single red flashing light. Instead, he could hear a familiar sound and see familiar walls and… He took his hands off of her shoulders and stepped backwards, his mouth wild opened as he stared at the Tardis with surprise.

_"How… How did you do that?"_

_"Emergency procedure."_

He frowned suspiciously at her.

_"There is no emergency procedure."_ he answered. And certainly none of this kind. And there was no reason for a stranger to know the procedures of the Tardis. Unless…

His mouth opened to formulate a question but a sudden shock made the whole ship to shake violently and he fell on the ground, while she succeeded in gripping the console and staying on her feet. After a few seconds, the ship stopped moving and they both could stand up.

_"I thought we had just crashed."_ she said.

He did not answer but ran to the console, and began pulling this and pushing that to send them into the vortex – or at least into a safer place. Then he turned back to the mysterious woman who was still standing by his side, and he wanted to ask her when and where she wanted him to leave her, but words were trapped in his mind.

She was playing with levers and buttons, undoing what he had just done.

_"What... What are you doing?"_

He was not only angry—the situation made him feel uncomfortable. There was only one person in the whole universe who could act the way she was currently acting. A single one. And, at that moment, she looked like _her_, bathed in the light of the TARDIS, self-confident of her gestures. And when she looked at him and answered him, he did not see her face, he did not hear her voice – he saw a ghost.

_"I'm avoiding another crash Sweetie."_

He could not but shiver, from the beginning of his toes to the end of his hair as she waved her hand in the air, and he felt like looking into a mirror. Tension grew up in his muscles, so deep he had to clench his fists to prevent him from screaming. He stepped next to her, so close he could almost touch her, so close he could feel her breath on his skin. He looked into her eyes, and she withstood is, unafraid, and he got the impression that he had moved back hundred years ago, as he finally succeeded in asking her.

_"Who are you?"_

Hearing his words she smiled, and he had the sensation that she was trying to tell something to him. He could almost see his own reflection in her eyes. He tried to look beyond, and the more he looked into her the more he discovered. For the first time he realized how deep her look was, how deep her mind was, and why she had seemed so familiar to him –except that it could not be.

_"You know who I am."_ she answered him.

Her voice was soft, but she was defying him. She could give him the answer but she did not want to. She wanted him to guess, she wanted him to say it, by himself.

_"It's not possible__,_" he whispered.

_"Why not?"_

_"You… she gave all her regenerations to me. She can't change anymore."_

She nodded in agreement and waited. She wanted him to move on, she wanted him to realize, by himself.

_"Even if we find a way to change that she…"_

He had to stopped, words trapped in his throat, his hearts hurting him as he remembered.

_"… was trapped in the Library. Yes. That was the most unpleasant part__.__"_ she finished for him.

For the second time his whole body shivered.

_"How can you…"_ he asked with a trembling voice, and he tried to fight the tears that came in his eyes and the thought that was running in his mind.

_"Because I've already lived it sweetie."_

_"That can't be…"_ It was almost a whisper, as he tried to convince himself, as he tried to convince herself that _it could not be_. But she was there, in front of him, real, and it was hard not to believe. It was even harder when she slowly moved a hand on his face and he closed his eyes while his soft fingers stoke his cheek gently.

_"I swear it is__.__"_ she assured him.

He did not move and kept looking at her, trying to find clues, to find more proof. He did not want to let his hopes increase and hurt him. Even though he knows that it is true, everything around him – her, front of him. He just could not.

She can see his doubts and all his efforts not to believe what she was trying to say to him, what she was trying to explain him. She had thought that moment would be great, because she was bringing him hope for the future, she was telling him that he could, that he _would_. All his pain, all his fears, all his guilt of him first meeting her, she should be washing them away. But he was fighting, he was getting through her words, because he could only remember the bad memories, and did not want to believe and be disappointed. Because he could not believe that he was strong enough for it.

Fortunately, she knew him for a long time – a _very long_ time, and she knew how to deal with it. So she simply lifted on her tiptoes to reach his ears and whispered in it, words that she was the only one to know. He froze as she uttered the syllables carefully and when she pulled back and looked into his eyes she knew something had changed in him.

x.

And suddenly he is on her, his lips crashed on hers so violently their teeth clink but it does not matter. He pins her against the console and she finds herself trapped between the heat of the Tardis and the heat of his body, while his tongue is making its way in her open mouth and begins fighting with her own.

Soon there is no space between them, she can feel his hands everywhere on her body – he is discovering it for the first time and she knows he is exploring, mapping, cataloging every detail so he can keep a perfect memory of the new her in his mind. It's good, the sensation of him again on her skin, his Doctor, the one she had fallen in love with – because she knows all his faces but this one is still her favorite, and she knows she is with him for the last time. So she is pressing herself against him more passionately, her hips on his hips, her own hands tracing muscles and veins she has not touched for a long time – and she can't think anymore. She does not know what she is doing, kissing him, biting him, sucking him, surrounding him with her arms, with her legs, with her fingers trapped in his hair, on his chest, on his waist, on his neck, on his face. She even forgets how to breathe, how to live, how to be; but he is here with her and it's all she needs. And she knows he feels like her, desperately holding her as he realized she has just given hope – his fear of losing her for ever has vanished and he can give her everything.

Now there is no end, no death, nothing to stop them anymore.

Finally she can hear him, as he grabs her so hard she will keep the bruise on her skin for weeks, telling her name in a whisper.

_"____River."_

And then she lets everything go.

x.


	4. Chapter 4

_"So, I am going to save you?"_

It was a few hours after the crash. She had already told him everything she could, but he was still asking the same questions, as if he could not believe her, or perhaps he knew she was going and he tried to keep her. She had stayed with him for a while, but now she was about to leave – she could not stay any longer. He still had her younger self and she still had the older him, and things got to come back at their right place.

_"Yes Sweetie, you are."_ she answered him, again.

_"I am going to find a way? I am going to find a solution?"_

_"Yes, of course."_

_"What? When? How?"_

She sighed as he asked.

_"You know I can't tell you. You got to find it by yourself. Spoilers."_

_"But, you are here."_ he pointed out suspiciously. _"Isn't that a spoiler?"_

She took a second to answer him, as she looked back in her memories and remembered every detail. The day she had met him for the last time, the day he had met her for the first time. The years that had gone away like a dream in CAL. The moment she had felt herself coming back to life and suddenly she had been alive again, physically. The second she had seen his face, front of her, the first thing she could have seen for years, and he was _him_, the one who knew her, the one who loved her, the one who took care of her, the one who saved her – who had just done, once again. The time he had finally told her everything and it was the first time in their life that they were sharing the same memories, all of them, and for the first time they had been able to travel together, in the right order – except for this once.

_"No, it isn't." _she answered him softly, still lost in her thoughts. _"When you saved me, you told me that you were really sure that there was no hope, that you had lost me __forever__… until one day a girl dropped out of the sky and it was me, a future me, the one I am right now, and I showed you that you could. I brought you hope. So you got the strength to go on until finally you found a way."_

_"So…"_

_"This moment has already happened. It ____had__ to happen."_

He seemed to be satisfied with this answer and this time she could enter coordinates and fly the Tardis where she had to find him – the other him. He let her do and she could feel his look on her, still collecting every details of their meeting, so he would not forget anything.

Finally, when she ship was still and her destination was reached, she stared at him and she did not need to tell him – she was leaving.

_"Will I see you again?"_ he asked as she made her way to the exit door. _"I mean, this you, before I got you out of the Library?"_

_"I'm afraid you won't."_

_"Does it mean…"_ he said, hesitantly, but he could not find the right words, he did not want to hurt her.

_"It's the last time I see this you."_ she ended for him. _"But the future you is not so bad."_ she added merrily, to comfort her more than him. And she smiled, to prove him that everything was right, and even if it was, she could not but feel sad. She was seeing him for the last time – and this time it _really_ was the last time.

He did not answer anything but came to her and put his arms around her so he could hug her tightly. She buried her face in his neck and hold him strongly, smelling his fragrance for the last time, feeling his jacket stroking her nose for the last time, playing with his hair for the last time. She sighed deeply and fought the tears that reached her eyes. Then she pulled back and kissed his lips for the last time and she did not allow herself to deepen their embrace, because she knew that if she did, she would never be strong enough to go. She broke away and cupped his face in her hands, so she could bend his head and kiss his forehead.

She was smiling when she opened the door and went out, glancing at him for a last time.

_"See you soon."_ she said before turning back, so he could not see the single tear that dropped out of her eyes.

**~the end~**


	5. Chapter 5

_**I could not resist to write an epilogue... Hope you'll like it, and thank you all for reading ;)**_

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_**Epilogue: **_

He looked at the door slamming front of him and for a moment he did not move, standing still, lost in his thoughts, trying to keep in his mind the last image of her. He had not really realized yet all the consequences of what she had just told him, and he was a bit lost. She had just broken up all the things he had believed in from the moment he met her, and he did not know what he was supposed to do now. He was walking a new path, everything was unknown and all the hopes were allowed – no, all the hopes were the truth, the reality, not only ideas of what might happen, but proof of what would happen. Except that he still did not know how they would come true.

And then, as he tried to find a solution and as he tried to figure what his future would look like, a thought cross his mind. His eyes suddenly lighted up and he ran to the console – he knew what he had to do, right now, before everything else.

x.

The beloved blue box materialized in the middle of the day, and she expected the worst: he never landed during the day. She stood up of her cot with anxiety and prepared herself to everything – she tried to stand completely insensitive as she thought that perhaps the Doctor who was there did not know her. It had happened once or twice before, meeting versions of him that had known her but not really who she was, and she knew that one day he would be the only one to come to her.

She was deeply surprised when he ran out of the Tardis with a big frank smile and an infectious happy look. Before she could say anything or even move, he came to her and strongly hugged her, almost laughing, and she felt herself being lifted up off the ground.

_"River Song, you're brilliant." _he told her, turning around, flying her._ "No, ____I __am brilliant, and ____you__ are brilliant remembering me that I am."_

_"Doctor, please, let me down."_ she said, gently striking his shoulders, as she tried to remain serious. She was not used to such a demonstration of feelings and she felt uneasy. He put her down but still held her, and she almost shivered, feeling dizzy by the intensity of his look. He raised a hand to her cheek and slowly stroked it, a smile still enlightening his face. He was still staring at her carefully and she did not dare moving, holding her breath, waiting for his next words.

_"River"_ he finally said, more serious and solemn than he had ever been before _"I love you."_

She opened her mouth but she could not find words to answer him. She was stunned; of course she knew that he loved her, he could show her in many different and weird, Timelord ways, but he never told her. Not with words. Not _that_ way.

_"I love you. I always did, and always will." _he added. _"I know I don't say it very often. I hope you know that, whatever I do, whatever I say, even with that all-back-to-front stuff, I love you and have loved you for the very first time I saw you."_

He stopped and kept looking at her, waiting for her to react to his confession, but she was too surprised to make a proper sentence. He never acted like that and she was almost afraid, that something terrible had happened and he had become mad – except that he looked completely sane and it scared her even more.

_"I… You… Doctor, why do you… What happened to you?"_

_"Spoilers…"_ he answered, and he was smiling more than ever. _"And this one would be a good one. A very good one."_

He took one of her curly strand in his hand and played with it, and for a moment he was gone, lost in his thoughts. Then he deeply looked into her eyes and he got that serious face again, the face he had when he told her things really important that she had to keep for herself.

_"Never forget what I'm telling you. Everything will be all right. Always. Even when you'll meet me and I will be young and won't have a single idea of who you are. Everything will be alright. I promise you."_

He kissed her forehead and she could not do anything but strongly hug him, fighting against the tears in her eyes. She was sad, because she could remember how it was when she had met young versions of him, and thinking that she would have to do that again tore her apart; but she also feel relief, because she believed him, and knowing that one day he would be able to make it right would help her moving on.

He let her hold him for a while, then he pulled her back and took her hand to carry her out of her cell.

_"Come on, there are many things waiting for us."_ he said, cheerfully again.

_"You mean… now?"_

_"Yes, right now!"_

_"You never take me away during the days."_ she added, hesitantly.

_"I know, but I can't wait until the night. Just…Take it as an extra… or holidays… a break… a Christmas gift in advance… a favour… "_

He was almost begging her and she could not resist his look. It was against the rules, but what the point of making rules if they could never break them? She laughed and nodded, and she let him bring her into the Tardis. And so together they ran – and he knew that they would run now, more than he had ever expected.

x-x-x


End file.
